Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
