you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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