If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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