That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
