My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
