hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
