I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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