It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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