I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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