With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize