Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
