Me. At least after what I've been through.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
