He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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