Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
