Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
