When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
