I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
being pregnant is like rehab
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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