you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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