I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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