That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
