you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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