So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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