I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
