Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
