There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
