I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
