We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
