I just threw up on my dentist
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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