I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
