i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
