Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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