My brain says no but my pants say off.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
