I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
