wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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