this boner is exhausting
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
