Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
