Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha how do you remember that?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

HOW COULD I FORGET?!

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(502): View more from Kentucky

apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up

(1-502): View more from Kentucky

basic color theory

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(407): View more from Florida

mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.

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(813): View more from Florida

Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

(1-813): View more from Florida

I ordered a moonbounce.

(813): View more from Florida

Fuck, you win.

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(702): View more from Nevada

She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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(409): View more from Texas

We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans

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(253): View more from Washington

I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.

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