sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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