so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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