i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
