Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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