Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We have so much sex to catch up on
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
