Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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