i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
