Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
