if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
