Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
