Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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