just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
