please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Who died my cat blue again?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
