Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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