I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
