The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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