What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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