Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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