I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
