Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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