so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
