Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
