She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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