Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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