Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize
