I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
