you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
