I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
