i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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