YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
